Navigating Shame, Faith, and Mental Health as LGBTQ+ Youth”
Growing up LGBTQ+ in today’s world is a paradox. On one hand, we see rainbow flags in shop windows, Pride parades in major cities, and inclusive storylines on television. On the other, young queer people still face disproportionate rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide. For those raised in religious or conservative families, the journey toward self-acceptance can feel like a battle between identity and belonging. I know this because I lived it. Raised in an Irish Catholic household, I learned early that silence was safer than honesty. The unspoken rules were clear: don’t ask, don’t tell, and definitely don’t be different. Coming out felt like choosing between truth and love. The shame wasn’t just internal—it was inherited, reinforced by sermons, family dinners, and the fear of being cast out.
This isn’t just my story. According to the Mental Health Foundation, half of LGBTQ+ people have experienced depression, and three in five have experienced anxiety. Alarmingly, one in eight LGBTQ+ individuals aged 18 to 24 have attempted to end their life. These statistics aren’t just numbers—they’re cries for help from young people who feel unseen and unheard. For those from religious backgrounds, the struggle is compounded. Faith, which should be a source of comfort, often becomes a weapon of exclusion. The teachings that once offered guidance now serve as reminders of perceived inadequacy. The fear of disappointing family, of being labeled sinful or broken, can lead to isolation and self-loathing.
But there is hope. Organisations like YouthTalk provide free, confidential counselling for 13-25 year olds in St Albans and surrounding areas. They offer a safe space for young people to explore their identities without judgment. Similarly, charities like The Proud Trust and MindOut offer resources and support tailored to LGBTQ+ youth. For parents and families, understanding and acceptance are crucial. It’s essential to listen without judgment, to educate oneself, and to create an environment where love is unconditional. Remember, your reaction can be the difference between your child feeling safe or feeling alone. To the young people navigating this journey: you are not alone. Your identity is valid, and there are communities ready to embrace you. Seek out support, whether through friends, online communities, or professional counselling. Your mental health matters, and there is strength in vulnerability.
In a world where diversity and inclusivity are under attack, standing in your truth is an act of bravery. Let’s continue to create spaces where every young person can thrive without fear, where love is louder than hate, and where being yourself is celebrated, not condemned.
Support Youth Talk: Be the Reason a Young Person Finds Hope
Right now, in your community, there are young people silently struggling—some battling anxiety so severe they can’t leave the house, others questioning their identity while facing rejection, bullying, or worse.
For many LGBTQ+ youth, Youth Talk is the only safe place they have. A place where they are heard, respected, and supported without judgement.
But this lifeline is under pressure.
Why This Matters
- The number of young people seeking mental health support is growing—faster than services can keep up.
- Many wait months or even years for NHS help. By then, it may be too late.
- LGBTQ+ youth are twice as likely to experience depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts.
Youth Talk offers free counselling—before crisis hits. But we can’t do it without you.
What Your Gift Can Do
- Just £45 provides a professional counselling session. That’s one hour of being truly listened to—maybe for the first time.
- Your donation helps keep Youth Talk completely free, private, and accessible to every young person who needs us.
- You won’t just be giving money—you’ll be giving hope, dignity, and sometimes even saving a life.
How to Help
👉 Go to youthtalk.org.uk/donate to give once, or set up a monthly gift.
👉 Want to do more? Fundraise, give through work, or become a Youth Talk ambassador.
Here are some practical elements you may want to consider to help you on your journey.
Mental Health Tips for LGBTQ+ Young People
If you’re exploring your gender or sexuality, it’s normal to face emotional challenges. These practical tips are designed to help you look after your mental health, build confidence, and feel supported.
1. Your Feelings Are Valid
If you’re feeling anxious, confused, isolated or low—those feelings are real and important. You are not being ‘too sensitive’ or ‘dramatic’. You deserve support, just like anyone else.
2. Find Safe and Supportive Communities
Being part of an LGBTQ+ affirming space can make a huge difference. Many schools have Gender and Sexuality Alliances (GSAs). Local youth centres and national organisations also offer inclusive groups where you can be yourself safely.
3. Talk to Someone You Trust
This could be a teacher, school counsellor, youth worker, or family member. If that’s not possible, look for trained professionals or confidential services who understand LGBTQ+ issues (see below).
4. Use LGBTQ+ Mental Health Support Services
- Youth Talk – Offers free, confidential counselling to young people aged 13–25 in the UK. They provide a safe space to talk openly about anything that’s affecting your mental health.
- MindOut – A mental health service run by and for LGBTQ+ people, offering online support and advocacy.
- Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline – Offers free, confidential support via phone (0300 330 0630), chat and email. You can talk about anything, including identity, relationships or mental health.
- Mermaids – Supports transgender, non-binary and gender-diverse young people (and their families), including a helpline, online chat, and local groups.
- YoungMinds – Mental health support for young people in general, including specific advice for LGBTQ+ youth.
5. Set Healthy Boundaries
You have a right to protect your wellbeing. It is okay to:
- Avoid conversations that feel harmful or invalidating
- Step back from people who disrespect your identity
- Say no without explaining yourself
- Choose what personal information you share—and when
Setting boundaries helps you feel safer, more confident, and more in control.
6. Create a Safe Environment
Surround yourself with people, spaces and online content that affirm who you are. Block or mute accounts that spread negativity or hate. You don’t have to tolerate content that makes you feel unsafe—even from people you know.
7. Make Time for Self-Care
Self-care is about doing what helps you feel calm, rested and strong. Some helpful ideas:
- Journalling or creative writing
- Listening to music or podcasts
- Drawing, painting, or making something
- Taking time offline
- Going for a walk, stretching, or spending time in nature
8. Know Your Rights
You are protected by law against discrimination in education, healthcare, and public life. If you’re being bullied, excluded, or treated unfairly, you can get help from:
- Stonewall
- Citizens Advice
- Equality Advisory Support Service
9. Celebrate Your Identity
There’s no right or wrong way to be LGBTQ+. You don’t need to have all the answers right away. Explore what feels true to you, whether through your name, pronouns, clothes, interests or community. Learning about LGBTQ+ role models and history can also help you feel proud and connected.
10. Build Coping Tools
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it helps to have strategies ready. Try:
- Deep breathing or mindfulness
- Writing down your thoughts or worries
- Talking to someone safe
- Doing something that distracts or comforts you
- Creating a small “calm kit” (like music, objects, or photos that help soothe you)
11. Ask for Help When You Need It
Remember, Struggling doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re human. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, identity issues, bullying, or loneliness, you deserve help. Services like Youth Talk, MindOut, and Switchboard are there for you—free and confidential.
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References
•Mental Health Foundation. (n.d.). LGBTIQ+ people: statistics. [online] Available at: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/statistics/lgbtiq-people-statistics [Accessed 4 May 2025].
•Stonewall. (2018). LGBT in Britain – Health. [online] Available at: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/resources/lgbt-britain-health-2018 [Accessed 4 May 2025].
•The Trevor Project. (2022). 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health. [online] Available at: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/survey-2022/ [Accessed 4 May 2025].
•Youth Talk. (n.d.). Youth Talk. [online] Available at: https://youthtalk.org.uk/ [Accessed 4 May 2025].
•The Proud Trust. (n.d.). The Proud Trust. [online] Available at: https://www.theproudtrust.org/ [Accessed 4 May 2025].
•MindOut. (n.d.). MindOut. [online] Available at: https://mindout.org.uk/ [Accessed 4 May 2025].
•NHS. (n.d.). Help for mental health problems if you’re LGBTQ+. [online] Available at: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/advice-for-life-situations-and-events/mental-health-support-if-you-are-gay-lesbian-bisexual-lgbtq/ [Accessed 4 May 2025].
•Parents. (2024). How to Support Your LGBTQ+ Teen. [online] Available at: https://www.parents.com/ways-to-support-lgbt-youth-8669250 [Accessed 4 May 2025].
•Verywell Mind. (2022). When Your Child Comes Out As LGBTQIA+: Understanding, Supporting, Affirming. [online] Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/when-your-child-comes-out-as-lgbtqia-understanding-supporting-affirming-5525725 [Accessed 4 May 2025].
•University of Texas at Austin. (2023). Depression in LGBTQ Youth Linked with Lack of Parental Support. [online] Available at: https://cns.utexas.edu/news/research/depression-lgbtq-youth-linked-lack-parental-support-controlling-behavior [Accessed 4 May 2025].
Chris O’Hanlon is a writer and the Individual Giving Officer at Youth Talk.
with thanks to images from www.pexels.com RDNE, Cottonbro, Shvetsa, Slaytinaaa, Sayles
